


Egging You On

by thebearking



Category: Deadpool (2016), Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Gender-neutral Reader, M/M, Mischief, Other, POV Second Person, Protective Wade, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Vandalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 20:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12019956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebearking/pseuds/thebearking
Summary: Wade encourages you to let loose.





	Egging You On

**Author's Note:**

> this was requested on my tumblr. i love wade so much. enjoy!

You weren’t sure why Wade stuck around.

No matter how many times he insisted that he always returned simply to be around you and not because you were a free source of food, Wi-Fi, and shelter (in that order), you had your doubts. He was sweet, in a bizarre, sometimes disturbing sort of way, but he always seemed to genuinely enjoy your company. You never knew what to talk about with him, and he must have picked up on that over the years, bringing up conversation starters you never would have thought of on your own (“What were barn owls called before there were barns?” was one of your favorites). He was seemingly content to be around your introverted self, even if it meant sitting in silence while whale documentaries played on the television.

However, being friends with a mercenary meant you could get him to stomp on any person who wronged you. Potentially. You had yet to use his services to your own benefit, mostly because it seemed pointless. You were just a server at a small diner; you never had much “drama” except for the occasional rude customer or someone bumping into you on the sidewalk.

Until now.

You’d always had a tense relationship with your boss, but now you’d had enough. He was sleazy, irritating, and above all impossible to please. From the shitty schedule to the inappropriate comments about your appearance to the reprimands in front of the entire restaurant, it hadn’t taken much to get you to finally quit.

Naturally, when you told Wade all about your boss, he had been furious on your behalf—he’d always been so fiercely protective of you—but once you’d convinced him that stomping was unnecessary, he calmed down a bit. On one condition.

And boy, were you nervous.

“What’s this asshat’s name again?” Wade asked you over his shoulder.

“Bill,” you muttered, stepping forward.

“Well, Bill, it looks like you messed with the wrong employee. Y/N’s gonna fuck you up. With a little help from me. And these guys.” He turned and offered you the first egg carton. “You get the first egg.”

“What? Wade, no, I don’t—”

“Trust me. It’ll feel right. It’s only fair if you do it.”

You sighed and took an egg from the carton, weighing it in your hand. This was easier than telling Bill off to his face, but somehow it was more difficult. You’d never done anything like this, not even in middle school when your friends had TP-ed houses for Halloween. You were starting to feel guilty. You were wasting eggs (even if they were a little spoiled), and this would be such a pain for Bill to wash off, and it would start to stink in the morning…

“Y/N, I can see you having second thoughts and I just want you to know, this isn’t gonna kill him. Just fuck with him a little. A minor inconvenience.”

You launched the egg at the house. It splattered against the door; yolk dripped down the wood, and bits of shell fell onto the doormat. Wade hooted and hollered, complimenting your aim.

Wade was right. It did feel good.

“Give me another,” you said. Wade placed another egg in your open hand, and again you threw it, this time landing it near the windowsill.

Within ten minutes, you’d emptied both cartons, with Wade’s assistance and encouragement. He was a better shot than you, covering all the spots you’d missed. Once the front of Bill’s house was thoroughly doused in egg, the both of you retreated to a Thai restaurant four blocks away. It felt appropriate to dine on the finest pad tsu after a good round of revenge, as Wade put it. Your only regret was that he had to wear his hood up the entire time. The public still wasn’t ready for his scars.

“Sorry if I’m turning you into a delinquent,” Wade mumbled around his food, eyeing you apologetically from beneath his hood. “I’m a terrible influence on you, aren’t I?”

You shook your head. “Don’t be sorry. He had it coming.” You paused. “But if you want to make up for being a bad influence, help me find a new job.”

“Will do. Is ‘mercenary’ out of the question?”

You flashed him a withering look, but it was only so serious. You couldn’t help but smile a little, pushing your food around your plate while he went on about how great of a merc you could be. Sure, Wade could be a bit wild, but he brought out the best in you.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! <3


End file.
